I went out on the deck and the little bird was breathing heavily and writhing. I was at a loss at what to do. I did not want to frighten it further by rushing to its side. I tried to send it healing thoughts of love and compassion, but quickly it turned over a few times and died.
I was saddened by the visual experience of this little creature whose life just ended in front of me. I picked up the lifeless, but still warm bird. It was so soft and light, just ounces of weight.
My heart ached for this loss of a life force as I disposed of the little one with a private prayer and the unanswerable question of why.
A few hours later I killed an ant crawling on the kitchen counter. The second I did so I felt a questioning remorse.
Was the bird’s life and my sadness at its ending more sacred than the life of the ant? Why did I not feel sadness for the ant especially after my experience with the Downy Woodpecker?
These are questions we all need to ask ourselves as we go through the emotional experiences of conscious choice.
One ending I witnessed and the other I caused. The dichotomy of sensitive emotion is troubling.